NO-N-SENSE
~ A Saiyuki Parody to another really good one ~
To beloved pupil, you are
the best ^___^
An illegal fanfic third
"parter" to fanfictions "No Angels"
(http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=950586) and "No Devils"
(http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=1138399). Do not proceed without
memorizing the above 2.
This is a total waste of
your time, read at your own risk. May the fates have mercy upon us all.
~ Inspired by SF, FS and
eeFS (SAMA-taichi) *glomp glomp*
~ hazelnut coffee to Muse
----------
Sanzo sighed. It looked
like it would be a good day. It was indeed a good idea to spike the monkey's
drink and to pick up suitable reading materials for the trip. Goku was fast
asleep and Gojyo had not made a single rude remark since finding the porn
magazine stashed in the back seat. Hakkai was not looking too pleased but Sanzo
did not care.
Something at the back of
his head told him that it was too good to be true.
Out of the blue, with the
click of a mouse, Sanzo was plucked from his safe world of Togenkyo and
ungraciously dumped into a chair in a room.
"AOI)(#Qrnt"
screamed Sanzo. "Ouch, my butt hurts."
"Sorry," said a
voice from nowhere, "But we need to make sure you don't go anywhere for a
while."
"What the
F****?" fumed Sanzo.
"No bad
language," said the voice. "Bad spelling is allowed but NO BAD
LANGUAGE!!!"
And with the swish of the
wand of "NO LOGIC", magic ropes appeared to bind a very miffed Sanzo
from neck to toe.
"#&*@^)(%~!!!"
yelled Sanzo but to no avail. Just as he thought life could not get any worse,
the door opened and FS bounded into the room. Ignoring the love of her life
desperate attempts to escape, she happily plonked baby Fanzo (Fsanzo?) into the
lap of the freaked out priest. Sanzo looked around desperately for help. There
was nothing in the room, nothing except a stack of crates and two suspiciously
familiar youkais hidden behind the said stack.
"Sanzo-sama, I
loooooveeee you," FS squealed happily as she happily bear hugged the
struggling priest. "I just want to squish you and love you and hug you to
pieces," she paused. Scratching her head, she wondered, "Now why did
that sound so familiar?"
While Sanzo struggled to
catch his breath, somewhere in the real world, a lawyer for a certain animation
company and for the Muse made notes to sue this fanfic author for
indiscriminate and blatant copyright infringement.
Safely hidden behind the
crates of pink yaoi R Us (TM) T-shirts, Hakkai and Gojyo who had followed Sanzo
out of morbid curiosity watched nervously. Gojyo gulped. Sanzo looked like he
was about to do his impression of a volcano and Gojyo wasn't that keen to be
caught in the aftermath.
"Man, that's one ugly
baby," winced Gojyo as he watched the moronic FS continue her cooing and
squealing over baby Fanzo (Fsanzo?).
"He'll need a miracle
to rescue him out of this," muttered Hakkai.
"Agreed but why
bother. As soon as he gets out of one Mary Sue, we have to rescue him from
another. It's fate Hakkai, he's blonde."
"What has being
blonde got to do with this?" asked Hakkai curiously.
"Well, you know what
happens to violent chain smoking blondes in fanfic," shrugged Gojyo.
"OOC-ness is their bane. It's almost like every fangurl out there wants to
prove she is the one who can melt his icy facade. It won't be quite so bad
except they all have the same overused idea of Sanzo falling head over heels
for them." Gojyo was practically spitting out the last few words as he
fought a laughing fit with little success.
"Oh," said
Hakkai. "But surely they must credit Sanzo with better taste. Look at him.
Does he look like the marrying type?"
"Nope," replied
Gojyo. "Look, I'm getting really tired of this. Do you want to ... you
know ... get some sleep?"
Hakkai lifted one eyebrow
disbelievingly. "So soon, we just had ... a nap and you're tired
again?"
The redhead smirked.
"You have that effect on me you know," before winking rakishly.
And because this is a Mary
Sue, we shall just leave it at that.
----------
Sanzo glared at the two
youkai attempting to sneak off quietly. He would make them regret leaving him
in the lurch.
"If I didn't no
better," he fumed, "This is where it gets worse."
If only Sanzo knew how
right he was. Just as FS was about to launch on her new tirade about how
difficult it was to find fashionable maternal wear, eeFS appeared angrily.
Bumping FS into the pit of oblivion (which had mysteriously appeared under FS's
feet), she turned to face a stunned Sanzo with a screeching war cry "Now
you're mine D-I-E!!!"
----------
And because the author was
too lazy to stay awake, we shall just have to wait till next time.
TO BE CONTINUED ...
OMAKE No.
1 of 99
Deleted scenes:
If only Sanzo knew how
right he was. Just as FS was about to launch on her new tirade about how
difficult it was to find fashionable maternal wear, eeFS appeared angrily.
Bumping FS into the pit of oblivion (which had mysteriously appeared under FS's
feet), she turned to face a stunned Sanzo with a screeching war cry "Now
you're mine D-I-E!!!"
Sanzo cursed silently.
When would all these stupid fangurls learn to write and spell properly. A
lesson in plot, structure and canon would certainly be a marked improvement for
once.
[Deleted because Mary Sues
can't have morals ... ]